As we head into the holiday weekend some of us are excited, some apprehensive and others dread the days ahead.
I wish you joy this holiday season, and I wish we could talk if you feel weary. Sometimes it seems impossible, but we truly can work things out when we put our focus on resolution. If you are worried, mourning a lost loved one, lonely or dreading the insults or poor behavior that repeats itself year after year, I'll be thinking about you because it's not a fun place to be during the holidays.
We want to be excited! We want to enjoy our time together but sometimes we get stuck in hurtful habits and we don't know how to stop the wheel of misfortune from turning.
This holiday season I want you to know that you are powerful. If someone pushes our buttons they don't have power over us, we allow it and we don't have to.
What is the healthiest thing you can do when you're feeling your worst? If you wait until you react, will that leave everyone on their best behavior? How do you know you're reaching your tolerance point? This year, before you reach that point, decide to move in another direction. This CAN take practice, so don't dismay if it takes a few times to master.
When we feel like we've had enough holiday cheer, it's okay to take a walk or to go to a movie. Even taking a walk with the very people who might be driving us crazy can be a relief because changing the scenery helps us to let things go.
Before you go in though, decide what you want most. If it's to prove you're right, make them pay for what they've done or any other evil thought, please know that you will get what you ask for, more strife.
Go for peace.
Each one of us is doing the best we can. Knowing that, we expect everyone to be angelic but that's not how it works.
It starts with you.
Be kind to others. Be of good character and if you believe in peace then let your actions reflect that in your thoughts, your words and in your actions. Give others the benefit of the doubt. consider that they are in a habit, and possibly not actually trying to hurt you. Let things slide without reacting.
A little trick I use is imagining the life of the person of conflict. What was their childhood like? How tough has their life been now, or before? What part do I play in our relationship.
When we think about another person in this way, and take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions, we are reminded that each of us are human and imperfect. Most often, this consciousness can release the tension, sometimes even allow us to feel compassion for each other.
Make every move consciously through your heart and see how that changes your outcome.
Your outcome depends on you. You don't have to be stronger, you don't have to be on guard, you just have to be conscious of making decisions that move you to what you really want. If you want more peace in your holidays, and you are ready to figure out how to get there, please call on me to help you. You can do this!
NOTE: The family in the photo is my in-laws, actually, my in-loves. Life is a journey and I'm thankful I get to walk with them. What are you thankful for?