Dear Reader, Like you, I'm on a journey of listening to my heart more, focussing on what's truly important to me and my family, and letting go of the fluff and sticky crap that holds me down. These are the lessons I'm learning every day. I hope you can relate. Join me, let's walk together. Love Brookh
Sounds good, right? Others rowing my boat ... but it's not that easy.
Allowing others to row my boat means that I've been allowing other people; their thoughts, their wishes to guide my direction. Worse, I didn't know I was doing it.
I was depending on everyone else to help me because help is important, but there is an important first ingredient before including others in our decisions; first we must know our intentions. Without knowing our intentions, we make decisions that might look good, but are not leading in any certain direction, or they are leading in the direction of someone else hopes and dreams. This type of giving leaves us spread too thin, and eventually feeling empty because indeed, our heart was not satisfied.
It’s been my life mission to be aware. It used to be an effort of not repeating the past, but I realized that that particular goal keeps me focused on the past and focused on what I don't want, so I changed it to support a more positive outcome that clearly defines what I really want.
What I used to want is to help others and create deep and lasting relationships with my children, and while that has been going really well, I had lost touch with myself and became a needy bugger.
I needed everyones input, their ideas. I had lost touch with my purpose until I began to listen again and God spoke faithfully to me (as is always the case when I listen).
As a parent, or a doctor, we are expected to tell people what to do, but eventually in both cases I could see that this is exactly what holds us back because we get used to people telling us what to do.
And this led my loved ones to enabling my self-critical thoughts (I can’t do this, it’s not enough .. ugh! You know the talk). By telling me what to do, or giving their opinion (which I asked for!), I was depending on them instead of going inside and pulling out the unique gifts I was born with or that I have earned during my time on the earth.
Everything starts with something. This was the catalyst: I go to bed too late and it affects my outcome negatively. I eat into the wee hours of the day, my cortisol levels are high, (that makes me F-A-T), and as sedentary as I have been with writing and researching for most of the day, sleep and balance are important to my health and can not be sacrificed without ‘paying the price’, as they say.
The truth is that I didn’t feel important enough (smart enough, capable enough), so I counted on others, even my sweet husband to guide my boat and it’s hurt us. Truly, that’s just life, but each degree of change counts and this is a good one!
You see, I’ve been working on this self-worth thing for a long while, and I try to be conscious of my feelings so I can assess whether what I'm feeling is the truth, something I learned or made up, or something in between. I have good and bad days with this mission.
A few weeks ago I registered that I was feeling a bit miffed because my husband knows I need to go to bed early, but doesn’t push me to do it.
“If he cared about me he’d beg me to go to bed early.” I caught myself thinking.
Well, he does love me, so he was allowing me to be an adult and make my own choices, but I wasn’t seeing it that way.
Perception is such a tricky bugger.
In a moment of beautiful clarity (ahhh), I realized it’s not his job to tell me what to do.
I. ME. MYSELF. must make the commitment and decide to make this choice because I am responsible for myself only, (and for a short while for our children, but they deserve to learn to be free). I’m not even responsible for my husband.
The truth is we all know what to do, we all know it will make a terrific difference and we just actually have to do it.
And so I am.
Each day I will share the journey. Are you rowing your boat? Please share a truth you are dealing with in th comments below. I invite you to join me.
Hi! I'm Brookh - a wife, mother and life-adventurer who lost her way and reset. As a family-living coach I am committed to helping parents have more real, deeper, long-lasting connection with their kids by doing what works best for their own individual family. We all have ideas of our 'Dream Family', but yours don't look like anyone else's, and that's a good thing. Today reach for your dreams with purpose and direction.
Dr. Brookh Lyons is a chiropractor, coach and workshop instructor on a quest to walk up that mountain, lean over the edge and ROAR at the top of her lungs. It's time to figure stuff out and become the best darn people we can.
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