My Spirit knows.
Dear Reader, Like you, I'm on a journey of listening to my heart more, focussing on what's truly important to me and my family, and letting go of the fluff and sticky crap that holds me down. These are the lessons I'm learning every day. I hope you can relate. Love Brookh
I've gained a lot of weight lately and instead of feeling devastated, (which would be understandable because nothing has changed in my diet or activity level), when I connect with my heart, it feels like this is a test.
A few weeks ago I bought all new clothing for a family trip because nothing fits me anymore. It’s easy to fall into a pit of despair when we have to spend money on a change we didn’t want to happen. I thought about what I’d look like in photos and for a moment I was embarrassed, but then something truly beautiful happened; I loved myself a little more than I usually do because I allowed myself to feel embarrassed, and then I cared for myself with kind words of support instead of bashing myself emotionally like I usually do. I know my family loves me. I know our family trip didn’t need to be held back by my weight.
So, I bought new clothing in a size I’ve never been before, (not even when I was pregnant did I weigh this much). Maybe everything is a test because I’ve noticed that nothing ever goes away until we learn what it’s trying to teach us. The trick is feeling it, processing it, and letting it go by the pure act of forgiveness or by our actions.
I started using MyFitnessPal again today and I made a breakfast of great foods: 2 eggs, a tomato, a small onion, and a tablespoon of bacon grease & Feta for flavor, but you know what I found when I entered those good foods? 462 calories. Calories are not always the most important part of our nutritional intake, but it woke me up to realize that my daily goal is 1200 calories so in one meal I ate more than 1/3 of my daily intake, in one sitting. I can justify that by saying that it’s all healthy stuff, but the reality is that too much of a good thing is too much and truthfully, although I felt like I didn’t deserve the weight gain, I wasn’t changing anything, not my food choices, not my exercise… THAT’s the problem!
Me! I know too much about our body’s need to gradually release insulin, too much food all at once makes my insulin spike. I am stressed-out, releasing cortisol and storing more fat on my frame.
I’m the cause of my weight. I am not a victim of my size and if I don’t like it, only I can change it. But not by sleeping. Not by wishing. But by acting.
Last week on our trip as we watched the airline safety movie it dawned on me; "I must put on my own oxygen mask before I can help anyone else." On this journey I am finding that I am truly responsible for myself, not just my weight but for who I am and how I walk in to situations, (or even whether I walk into anything at all, avoidance).
So that’s what I’ll do. Practice loving myself enough first to keep at it, to listen to my body -no matter what I look like. To fully be with my friends - no matter what we’re doing. To determine what I need and be free enough to let it go when it’s no longer serving me, or the ones I love.
I think there's so many times in our life when we think that if what we desire is "the right thing” it will come easily but that's not always true. I over-eat, and it does take effort, (even if it was unconscious effort). Somehow I fell asleep. I fell asleep to my own needs and my body is doing it’s best to accommodate.
Today I’m giving myself a new direction. One thing at a time is better than nothing but this could be huge. Not just in food, but in my tolerance to spend countless hours on social media, or watching mindless tv or movies, there’s more.
Moderation might be the vessel we are all aiming for, the key though, I think, is self-awareness, love and effort.
Thank you for being with me on this Journey. There is something in this for all of us.
Let it go.
If you can relate, reach out or let me know in the comments below.
Hi! I'm Brookh - a wife, mother and life-adventurer who lost her way, and reset and reset again. As a Women's Empowerment coach I am committed to helping women find their great value between work, volunteering and family-time so you have deeper, more real, and long-lasting connection with your loved-ones by doing what works best for your individual journey. We all have ideas of our 'Dream Life', but yours doesn't look like anyone else's, and that's a good thing. Today reach for your dreams with purpose and direction.
Fine Lioness, Dr. Brookh Lyons is a chiropractor, coach and workshop instructor on a quest to walk up that mountain, lean over the edge and ROAR at the top of her lungs. It's time to figure stuff out and become the best darn people we can.
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